A Self Call-Out
You look for love
In all the wrong places
Run to houses and
Hole in the walls
And hostile territory
Soul searching
in woods your people were never meant to trek
Chasing beings that do not speak your language
I just want to hold you
and tell you that there are others searching for your light
You’re hungry
Starved of this love the world boasts about
Hopping from prospect to prospect
trying to control your appetite
Trying to not be a parasite
Pestilence and plague
Funny how a gift to the world
can feel like a disease
You’re far too cryptic
A thing people track sightings of
It’s blinding to look at you
It hurts you to be looked at
At night you get on your knees and pray
that all the wrong people will love you
Then shun
And run away from those who truly need you
And before you even realize it
you’re left bare
No one you know can hold you
You spill out of their hands
You move between their fingers like vapor
You try
Exhausted
Over and over again to fit
but contorting will not save you
You’re alone
Because for all the hoping
And gazing
All the times you tried to move the universe on your own
Even though you dreamed so hard
you thought you bent time
The pressure is not on the infinite
It is on you
Why won’t you begin inside?
Why won’t you lick your wounds and learn a lesson?
Power is born from you
Not from reaching out
and trying to fill your belly with emptiness
and shallow affection
It’s some sort of addiction you have, I guess
To being left behind
Atira C. © 2020. All rights reserved.
